


Storms Alight

by undercoverwillshaper



Category: Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: F/M, Found Family, I'm a sucker for a good trope, Knights Radiant, Lightweavers, Reshi Isles, Willshapers, Windrunners
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21627457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undercoverwillshaper/pseuds/undercoverwillshaper
Summary: Two Surgebinders meet on an open battlefield and realize that they’re not so different after all.
Relationships: Adolin/Original Female Characters (past), Kaladin & Dalinar Kholin, Kaladin & Tien (Stormlight Archive), Kaladin/Original Female Characters
Comments: 18
Kudos: 24





	1. Alight, Winds Approach

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pachimew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pachimew/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Fracture, Break, Reweave, Repeat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17188055) by [Pachimew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pachimew/pseuds/Pachimew). 



A girl has a brother who she loves with all her heart, but then one day he isn’t there any more, and she wants to know why.

When she asks her grandmother, the old woman scoffs and tells her that he is off fighting in a war that should not be fought, that he has no business fighting. When she asks her uncle, he only sighs and tells her that her brother will be back, someday. But then, when she’s thirteen, they hear the news that Rhys made a choice. He isn’t coming home. 

Relu-Na will never be home to her again. 

She runs away.

She grows up in a variety of places, never staying too long in one place. Staying means getting attached, means getting hurt again, and she’s not willing for that to happen.

Jah Keved is pretty enough. She likes it enough to stay there for a year. A whole year she spends learning how to handle a weapon, though the townspeople frown at her too much and insist that she acts like a proper young lady, like a proper Vorin girl.

_But I’m not Vorin_ , she tells them, _never have been, never will be. Your gods are not mine, they cannot be._

From there, she moves to Azir. Yet again, the people tell her that she should follow their gods, but they are the same as those of Vorinism, but with different names. She moves on again, never staying, never tarrying.

She goes to the Purelake for a time, allowing those smooth, still, beautiful waters to wash her troubles away. But the questions arise: who are you, why are you alone, where are your parents. And so she moves on again.

She writes her grandmother twice in all this time. Twice, only to say that she is alive and well, that she has found her purpose again. It’s a lie, of course, she has no purpose, she’s simply an aimless wanderer. But her grandmother doesn’t know that, and it gives her a thrill to know that they are most likely searching for her.

Among the urchins of the Iri, she learns how to not be seen, even with her dark skin and pale eyes. She learns how to blend in with a crowd, how to appear as though she belongs. It goes a long way in coming years, as she blends in with those high and mighty people.

And throughout it all, she keeps the secret bound tightly in her chest, never speaks a word of the flash of light that follows her wherever she goes, that once followed her brother and spoke with him. He swore to always protect her, and now with the light, he does. 

The light doesn’t speak to her like it did him.

When she’s seventeen, she goes to Alethkar. There, she learns of Blades and Shards, and now she knows that those who hold them have influence in the world, have money. She is so very tired of being hungry, of being cold, of sleeping in dark corners and alleys. 

And so she shows what she can do. She shows how how she can fight almost as well as the great mountain of a man who they have teaching new soldiers how to fight. She wants to wield a Blade someday, _so teach me_ , she begs.

She’s not Vorin, so she can fight as much as she cares for.

The man decides to train her, because he sees in her something that his fellow ardents don’t: she has the spirit of a warrior.

She is full of anger and hurt, and she searches for a way to get it out of her chest, to get it to fly away from her. She delves deep into books, records of the old past, and it is there that she finds tales of the miraculous individuals who defended the weak. They were given power to help, but ultimately, they fell from grace and are now gone, as terrible as that is.

But she doesn’t understand how these people, those that do good, and help others, could suddenly become as terrible as people say. And so she says the words, each night before she goes to bed: _Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination._

The mountain of a man teaches her everything he knows, and finally, when she has trained with him for two years, when she has surpassed him, he declares that she is ready for his final lesson. 

And so he shows her the injustices of war, shows her those who are grieving, who have lost those they care for to the Parshendi. 

That night, she tells him that she is going to the Plains, and that he cannot stop her from doing so. _Daughter of my heart,_ he tells her, _I would not expect anything less from you. I too, will come to the Plains, if only to be with you._

That night, she speaks her second set of Words: _I will defend those I do not know, for they should have someone who cares._

They leave in the morning and travel from Alethkar to the Shattered Plains. They travel to war. When they arrive, she marches into Dalinar Kholin’s camp, places her Blade before him, and tells him, _here I am, I will fight for you._

He accepts her offer when he sees what she can do.

So a girl meets a boy and falls in love, but it turns out that the boy is really not all that great at commitment. 

His brother is a good friend, however, and so the girl sticks around. Besides, it’s not like she has anywhere better to go. She can’t go home; she hasn’t been there since she was thirteen and everyone is practically a stranger to her.

And besides, she has the father of her heart here with her, she reasons, nothing bad has happened yet, and she doesn’t need to worry. Why would she worry when the only thing they do is go on plateau runs to gather gemhearts. They’re skirmishes, at best.

But then comes the fateful day when they are betrayed, and her world comes crashing down around her when the father of her heart falls at her side. She has Plate but he does not, and the one thing that she vowed to do, she is helpless to do under such an onslaught of the enemy. 

The boy she had loved is nearly overwhelmed as well, but then, he comes.

He shoots down from above, a storm in human form, spear slashing outwards, ordering those in charge of the army, and she is astonished. Never before has she seen someone fight like this. He sweeps through the Parshendi like they are sand in a sieve. They fall in hordes, and it must be a trick of the sunlight when he nearly glows before kicking the Parshendi Shardbearer into the chasm.

The Parshendi near her are manic, vicious, in their attempts to retreat, and she goes down under a pile of them, but they are suddenly thrown back from her and he is there in front of her, helping her to her feet.

Her helm is long since gone, having shattered already, and so she gives him a weary, pain filled smile and thanks him, thanks him for letting other children keep their fathers.

_It’s my duty_ , he tells her, _I was a surgeon once. And then a soldier. I protect those who can’t protect themselves, and save those who can be saved._

He asks her what her name is, and she can’t help but feel so connected to him, a kindred spirit on this battlefield. Without thinking, she tells him the name that she has only told two people in the last six years.

“My name is Shavalash Vederel.”


	2. Deadly Approaching Winds Alight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s lots of staring and there’s some feels to be had.

It’s inevitable that they become best friends. One cannot go through what they have experienced and not feel connected to each other after that. The young surgeon and the soldier who don’t belong but desperately try to, bond to each other, become nearly inseparable.

She shares everything with him.

She tells him about Rhys, how he calls her “Ash” for the Herald, though they don’t worship those gods. He tells her of Tien, so cheerful, yet so young when he dies. They’ve both had great loss, he tells her, but that’s what keeps them going. 

“Do you think she would have liked me?” She ask him when he tells her of his mother, the seamstress who always knew what was right. He nods, looking thoughtful, and he tells her that his mother would love her with everything she had. It comforts her, somehow, to know that out there, there is a mother who would love a motherless child, care for someone as broken as she is.

He tells her of Amaram, of his betrayal, of his hatred of lighteyes. She asks if he hates her too, with her pale green eyes, if he thinks that she is like all the others. _I could never hate you,_ he says, taking her face between his hands and forcing her to look into his eyes, _you are the only person who can cheer me up like Tien once did._

The father of her heart once tells her that a great king had said that loyalty is to be given a license to destroy not only one’s self, but all within one’s care. She finds this is true, with Kaladin at her side, she discovers that loyalty to another can hurt when you fight with those whom you have come to rely upon.

And she discovers the sweet joy of speaking to each other again. 

Dalinar tells her of the betrothal between his son and a foreign girl, the ward of his niece. _I wanted to tell you myself,_ he says, _before you heard from someone else._ She reassures him that whatever she felt for the boy is gone now, that he is like an annoying brother to her. The Highprince seems relieved, and she knows that it is because he is worried that the betrothal will not work.

But it will, she can tell.

She spends a great deal of time with Bridge Four. They take to her like rockbuds to the ground. She finds that she especially enjoys the company of Lopen, who always has some sort of joke for her. Sigzil has many questions for her about the Isles, and somehow, she doesn’t mind answering them, even with the pain of her past memories. 

She catches Kaladin staring at her more than once.

The first time she catches him, she’s in the middle of a laugh, full bellied and loud, head thrown back and hair cascading down her back. He has a peculiar look on his face, and when he notices that she’s looking, he flushes and looks away. Her face warms for some inexplicable reason, in the days afterward she will find herself thinking of the way that the red flush spread across his tan cheekbones and down his neck, filling the space between his collarbones with a rosy hue.

She starts staring at him too.

The next time she catches him, he holds her gaze until Rock elbows him and says something, a few words that make him grin, a quick sharp thing, eyes dancing. She finds that a smile suits him, brightens his features in a way that catches her breath. She doesn’t know this feeling, this sudden difficulty breathing, this strange uncomfortable pounding of her heart, she just knows that he is the reason why.

Shallan Davar arrives at the Shattered Plains.

She is in the meeting when the girl arrives, and the look on Adolin’s face is enough to convince her that yes, this betrothal will work out very nicely thank you very much. She told Dalinar not to worry, and he shouldn’t, but she can’t help feeling slightly inadequate when faced with this clever, quick witted woman. 

Kaladin’s face, on the other hand, is hysterical.

She manages to get the story out of the boots out of him, and she decides there and then that Shallan Davar will be her friend if she has to die trying. Thankfully, the girl seems to accept her offer of friendship, even through thinly veiled suspicion. It doesn’t hurt her, she’s used to people being on guard, after all, she was the same way once.

It’s comical how much Adolin comes to her for advice _because, Ash, you know I’m terrible at relationships but I like her and don’t want to mess this up._ She helps him out, her feelings for him now are like he’s an annoying brother that she has to teach. 

She and Shallan become fast friends, and she discovers that Shallan is equally as hopeless. It was a match made in the Tranquiline Halls, evidently.

There’s a march that Dalinar decides to go on, a scouting mission. 

As a general in Dalinar army, she is obligated to go. She packs her bags for the trip, a few days worth of provisions should be enough. When they make camp the first night, Kaladin helps her with her tent. He’s been acting uncharacteristically nice to her, she muses, normally he just teases her and laughs. She hums under her breath, an electric spark courses through her as their hands brush. 

She may be falling in love with him, she realizes.

She’s always been bad at feelings. She’s never kissed a boy, or a girl for that matter, but there was Maryse at one point, the girl she had huddled next to on cold nights in Iri, who had whispered words of affection under the single blanket they shared. _How_ , she asks herself, _do you know when you love someone? How can you tell?_

She’s still worrying about this when Kaladin comes to her tent later that night and asks to speak with her. 

_I’ve wanted to say something for a while,_ he tells her, _but I couldn’t bring myself to do it for some reason. I was so scared and worried that I would lose you if I did, but I’ve come to realize that I can’t hold it in anymore._

Kaladin kisses her.

The warmth starts in her chest and expands outwards, making her toes curl as she kisses him back with every ounce of strength she has. It’s only when they pull apart, both grinning and panting that she realizes she hasn’t breathed since he kissed her. It’s a wonderful feeling. She tells him so.

But the very next day, Kaladin falls into the chasms, and her heart goes with him.


	3. Above Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are many feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays and Merry Christmas, you gremlins

Adolin Kholin had once cared very deeply for Ash, though likely not as well as she had deserved. 

That’s why he had left her, he muses, watching with an almost detached horror as the bridge crumbles into the chasm and she is left to sob over the captain that he knew she had grown so close to. 

As annoying as the bridgeboy could be, he never deserved this. And for Adolin’s betrothed, for  _ Shallan _ , to have fallen with him, well, Adolin decides that he’s tired of losing. 

Most are convinced that Kaladin and Shallan are dead, including Ash. 

When she appears at his door late that night, he gathers her into his arms and they crumble to the floor together, grieving as they should be allowed to, although not in public. Ash fists his coat tightly and he grips her back with a fierceness that nearly frightens him, and it is then that Adolin realizes that Ash is the sister that his mother never gave him, the sister that he never wished to have.

A surprise, to be sure, but a good one nonetheless. 

They grieve together that whole night, and when Dalinar Kholin visits his son the next morning, he is greeted by the sight of Shavalash and Adolin, fast asleep together, and he is struck with such a fondness, such a  _ love _ , for his son and this surprise of a girl, that he decides right then and there that she is family, that despite blood or religion or any other factor, Shavalash is the daughter he’d wanted someday.

Adolin awakes before she does.

_ She’s hurting _ , he says in their defense,  _ and so am I. Would you deny us this comfort? _ And Dalinar only shakes his head, feeling a pang at what they have lost.  _ Never _ , he vows with a solemnity bespoken by the fondness in his eyes,  _ she’s family too _ . Adolin seems surprised, though Dalinar doesn’t know why, but his face dissolves into a tired smile. He nods at Dalinar and holds Shavalash just a little tighter, as though he’s trying to protect her from the world.

The next day, when they both wake, there is a greater understanding between them, and Adolin smiles to know, even without words, that Ash feels the same as him in regards to the affection that they share. And that is when their bond becomes all the tighter, all the more wonderful, in the shared camaraderie they have developed.

Ash goes to walk the marketplace.

It is relaxing, she thinks, to have this time to walk around down here. Down here, no one knows who she is, no one looks at her with pity as she walks by, down here there are others who are grieving as well, and she fits in. She doesn’t have to worry here, she thinks, that others will judge her for having fallen in love with a dark eyed slave-turned-captain.

She wanders for a while before coming across a chouta stand, stifling a sob. Kaladin had taken her to stands like these often when they were both free during the day, and they’d buy chouta, pretending that it was awful, but secretly loving it. 

She buys some, if only to remember how she felt when they would go together.

To her surprise, the merchant selling the chouta isn’t Thaylen. He’s Alethi, but with a shock of white hair that stands out. He looks oddly similar to the King’s Wit, who he claims is his cousin. He introduces himself as Kalash, a merchant and storyteller, and then, he gives her some advice.  _ A wise man once said _ , he begins,  _ that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. You seem to be grieving, but you cannot move on from your pain until you make that first step.  _ He grins at her then, a smile too sharp, too cunning to be anything other than the Wit’s smile, and says,  _ Never lose hope. There’s always a way out. _

And it does give her some hope, if only a little bit.

She returns to Bridge Four, who have taken up post at the chasm, and tells them everything. Rock sits her on a stump and hands her a bowl of soup as she tells them of Rhys, of Ivi, of everything that has happened to her since she left home. She tells them of the father of her heart, of the oaths that she swore before coming to the warcamps, of the Radiance within her. And through it all, they listen, not interrupting, not asking any questions, not even seeming all that surprised. When she finishes, it’s Teft who speaks up.  _ Honestly, we’re not that surprised _ , he says, scratching at his beard,  _ there always was something different about you and that sword of yours. It always came a little too quick, and you always seemed just a little, well, off, when we would speak about Radiants. You and Kaladin have more in common than you realize, but it’s not my place to tell you all his secrets. Tell him about this when he gets back. _

They seem so sure that he’ll be back that it gives her more hope, because if they, his men, believe he’ll be back, what’s to stop her from believing as well?

And so she believes, she believes with everything good in her, and it pays off. It pays off when the alarms are sounded and Kaladin and Shallan walk out of the chasms. She flies right into his arms, ignoring the scandalized whispers and murmurs of shock, that she, a heretic, a foreigner, is so open with her affection, that she kisses him right there, in front of everyone and everything, that she holds him tight as though he will disappear if she lets him go.

She sees a young man in the crowd, strangely focused on her and Kaladin. He wears Amaram’s colors, and though she can’t make out any facial features, the way he holds himself is strangely similar to Kaladin. An urge hits her to call out to him but then the crowd gathers, and when it parts again, the man is nowhere to be seen. She gets the feeling that it won’t be the last she sees of him, however. 

She takes Kaladin home with her. The surgeons had said that someone would need to change his bandages and clean his wound, so she volunteers. Her house is in Dalinar’s camp, not too far from Bridge Four’s barracks, and the lodgings she provides are much better than the dark, dank rooms there.

She takes Teft’s advice and she tells him everything.

She waits nervously as he stares at her with an unreadable expression for a moment, and then he bursts into laughter. She hits him for it, of course, but her anger settles as he tells her, between breathless laughs, that he is a Radiant too, or at least was. Then, they’re both laughing, that they could be so clueless about it all, that they could have missed all the signs.

It’s sad, of course, when he tells her about Syl, that she’s gone, that he’s lost the ability to breathe in stormlight. But it makes so much more sense, she realizes, he really was glowing that day when he swept down, seemingly from the skies, and rescued her from the Parshendi. 

She kisses him again, savoring the warmth from his lips and in her heart, and offers what comfort she can to him, through this trying time. They spend all their time together. She notices when he seems cagey, distracted, when he spends more time moping than usual.

And then they are called to war, and she has to leave him behind.

He kisses her and makes her promise to be safe. He tells her that he loves her, that he can’t stand to lose her too, and that if she doesn’t come back to him, he’ll march straight to the Tranquiline Halls and fetch her back.  _ Ah, but I’m a heretic _ , she tells him,  _ according to the ardents, I’ll go to Damnation.  _ He only smiles at her, pressing their foreheads together.  _ Then I’ll go there too, _ he replies simply,  _ I’d go anywhere to bring you back to me. _

So she leaves, and the battle seems to be going right, for a time, everything seems okay, even though the Parshendi she sees there are terrifying. They have glowing red eyes, they are the Voidbringers of legend, but Adolin is alive, and so is Shallan, and Dalinar, and Renarin. But then,  _ he _ comes. 

The Assassin in White terrifies her more than all the Parshendi army combined, more than this near-Desolation, more than the flying rocks and lightning striking to her left and right.

She apologizes to Kaladin mentally as she steps forward to face him, she apologizes that she will likely die. She summons Ivi, let’s her drop into her hand before ten heartbeats are up, firm and steady, sees the looks of realization come over the faces of those around her.She points her Ivi-Blade at Szeth-son-son-Vallano, hand steady.

_ My name is Shavalash Vederel,  _ she tells him,  _ I am of the house of Kholin, the princess of Relu-Na, and a Willshaper of the second Ideal. The Radiants have returned, and you have hurt my family. Do not expect my mercy. _


	4. The Illuminating Storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More feels to be had, but this time lots of fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas and other various holidays. Here’s a second chapter for you bc I’m cool like that

She slams a foot into the ground, the earth under her rippling, but the Assassin in White Lashes himself to the sky.

It’s not something that she can do, she knows, but she will try her utter best to destroy this man, this creature. When he flies down from the sky, she barely manages to parry his strikes, fighting as furiously as he. He screams, denying her Radiance, denying that she is what she is, that all his actions are on him and him alone. And when he kicks out, he catches her off guard, landing a kick on her stomach, throwing her backwards. 

As he brings his Blade down to take her life, there is suddenly a second Blade there, one that glows blue and hums.

Kaladin, awash in Stormlight, and glowing blue, gives her an amused look and says,  _ I can’t even trust you by yourself for any period of time, can I?  _ And then, he’s off into the skies, the Assassin in White barreling after him. She turns, gathering Adolin and Dalinar, pushing them towards the shelter of the plateau. 

Adolin is still goggling at her as she shoves them into the rock formation and turns to head back out into the storm, to gather the rest of the army and lead them this way. He stops her before she can leave.  _ You and the bridgeboy are Radiant!  _ He says, and when she confirms it, he says,  _ I storming knew there was something off about him. And you! I can’t believe I never figured it out!  _

She grins back at him and charges back into the storm, heading for the group she can see that huddles under an outcropping of rock. She breathes in sharply, feeling a thrill as Stormlight floods through her veins, cool and soothing. Kaladin says that to him Stormlight feels like a storm in his veins, but to her, it’s like the waters of the Purelake, cool and quiet and blessedly still.

She spends close to an hour shepherding stragglers back to the plateau, and she’s sopping wet and freezing by the time Dalinar grabs her arm and tells her that everyone is accounted for. While she’s been gone, he tells her, Shallan and Renarin have figured out how to move the platform with Stormlight, and they’ve been moving the platform. She and Adolin, along with Dalinar, are in the last group to be ferried upward. 

When she lays her eyes on Urithiru, she thinks that she’s never seen anything more beautiful.

Of course, Kaladin proves her wrong moments later when he floats down from the skies, his Syl-Blade in hand and the Honorblade of the Assassin in White slung across his shoulders. She stands stock still as he speaks to Dalinar, and then he turns to her and she nearly gasps to see his eyes, so pale, so glassy blue. When she tells him, his face sours for a moment until she parrots what he told her so long ago.  _ I can never hate your eyes, _ she tells him,  _ or you. You’re the only one who makes me feel as steady as Rhys did. _

He wraps her in his arms then, not caring that she is soaking wet, not caring that she looks like a half-drowned whitespine, not caring that she looks far from beautiful in that moment. He does, however, care that she is shivering like her life depends upon it, that she stays on her feet like she’s about to collapse any second. 

He hurries her away from the crowds that are gathering, who are celebrating that they have survived, away to a secluded corner, where he manages to procure a dry blanket and wraps her in his coat and the blanket, sitting and allowing her to soak in his warmth. Later, when her shivering has slowed, he kisses the top of her head, and as she drifts off to sleep, she whispers to him,  _ I love you, I will always love you. Nothing can separate us. _

And somehow, she knows that for now, they will be alright.

She sleeps through much. She sleeps through Shallan’s vision, through Dalinar bonding the Stormfather, through a Shardblade falling from a window and landing in a planter just below. She sleeps through all this, and Kaladin lets her. He holds her tight to him, and even he drifts off.

It’s the best sleep that either have had in years.


	5. Dying Storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here y’all go, an extra long chapter as an apology for my inability to words.

Kaladin dreams.

It starts at the beginning, at the battle that decides his fate. He sees the bridges, his men, hears the screams of the dying. He feels the terror of that battle, of the men crying for their mothers, and he becomes himself once more.

His feet pound the earth as he races forward, leaping through the air to defend Dalinar Kholin from the Parshendi. The thundering whorl of the Stormlight inside flares once more as he hears the cry of a woman, a woman on the battlefield, what is she doing, why is she here, she shouldn’t be here, I have to help. He races forward once more and leaps, throwing the Parshendi away from the figure in Plate.

He freezes for a moment when he sees her. She may be one of the most stunningly beautiful women he has ever met before in his life. Even bloodied, a cut on her cheek trailing the brightest crimson, and bruised, a purple mass marring the other side of her face, she is gorgeous. 

Reshi, he thinks as she looks up at him, stunned, maybe some Alethi blood too. 

Her hair is not bound up, like the noble ladies wear it, but that is the least interesting thing about her, with the Plate, the Blade she holds, with the fact that she is a woman, a soldier. Her loose brown curls tumble forward as he helps her to her feet, barely noticing the battle around him dying away and the victorious cheer from the men as the Parshendi retreat.

Thank you, she says, and storm him if her voice doesn’t match her face, as ethereal and perfect as the Heralds themselves, thank you for letting me… for letting others keep their families. 

It’s my duty, he somehow manages to get the words out, I was a surgeon once. And then a soldier. I protect those who can’t protect themselves, and save those who can be saved. But what about you? Who are you?

She gives him a heartbroken smile and lifts a single shoulder, says, my name is Shavalash Vederel.

In the weeks following he comes to realize that her namesake, the Herald of Beauty, is fitting for her, for she is beautiful both inside and out. He realizes that he is quickly falling in love with her but he locks it away, hides it, he can’t be hurt again.

It’s a futile gesture, he’ll realize later, once he discovers how much they have in common. He learns that she, too, had a brother whom she loved with all her heart, that Rhys was her whole world like Tien had been his. He is grateful for it, that he can have a friend, for that’s all she is right now, who understands the pain of loss.

The week that they are fighting and don’t speak to each other is one of the worst of his life. He misses her, he steady presence he’s come to rely upon in the few short weeks. He finds that as he goes about his day, he wonders how she is, what she’s doing. And when they both abandon their pride, he encounters a new problem.

How can he know what she feels for him, if she feels anything?

It’s a conundrum, one he doesn’t know how to solve. And so he settles from looking at her when he knows she’s not watching. She only catches him twice, and he’s proud that it isn’t more. 

The first time, they’re sitting by the fire with the rest of Bridge Four. He watches her interact with his men, watches how easily she slips into the group like she’s been one of them since the beginning, watches how the men are broken down from their suspicion by her smile and easy laugh. He reflects on how cheerful a presence she is. He supposes that it’s easy, when you’ve been pampered all your life. A moment later he frowns as he thinks, but then why did she decide to fight?

Then Lopen remarks something to her, and Kaladin’s breath catches in his throat as she tilts her head back and laughs. It’s like something out of a painting, he thinks belatedly, stunned. The firelight glints off of her copper skin, her deep brown-black hair seeming to catch fire, and her teeth flashing white in her face.

When she tilts her head back down, she catches him staring, longing.  
He flushes and looks away, of course, but it’s too late, the image is seared into his mind forever. He will never be able to get it out. He finds himself thinking of that image in weeks to come. 

The second time she catches him, he is proud that he holds her gaze for several moments before Rock elbows him and shoves a bowl of soup into his hands, muttering, airsick lowlander under his breath. He grins at the large Horneater, a quick flash of a smile, as the man rolls his eyes and shuffled away, muttering something about feelings and stubbornness.

When Dalinar calls for a scouting expedition, he goes. Riding just behind Ash, he can smell the soap she uses in her hair, something floral. He finds he wants to bury his hands in that hair and pull her into him. He stops that thought in its tracks before it can go any further. 

When they stop for the evening, he can’t hold it in anymore, so he helps her with her tent. And when he finally confesses his love for her, she kisses him like she’s drowning and he is her lifeline. 

And it’s with this that Kaladin wakes.


	6. Illuminate the Silence Above

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Alternate title) Two Murders and a Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I am so sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter written and posted - I've had some crazy stuff happen to me this year that put me in a not-so-great spot mental-health wise. I am hoping to be able to get more written in posted in the coming months, but I want to thank y'all for your support.
> 
> As for the chapter, there is a cameo from a certain character from "Fracture, Break, Reweave, Repeat" by the ever wonderful Pachimew. Please check out the story, you will absolutely love it. I've been grateful for Pachimew's support through this, as many of the ideas for interweaving the stories have come from them. You're a beast.

When the news comes that Torol Sadeas is dead, Ash isn’t surprised. After all, with the way that the man acts, he was bound to be murdered sooner or later. She is, however, surprised that Sebarial actually shows up, his mistress trailing behind him. 

Paloma make some good points about this murder possibly being beneficial. After all, Sadeas was a storming bastard, Ash thinks, and the less of those she has to deal with, the better. 

As they disband, each heading for their respective duties, Ash catches the eye of a young man. He’s ordinary, wearing a green Sadeas coat, and he stares at the scene. There’s something about him that rubs Ash the wrong way, but she can’t put her finger on it immediately. 

She watches as the young man exchanges words with two other Sadeas troops. Ash frowns as both salute him and continue on their way. He’s high up, then, or high up enough that these troops obey him without a second thought. 

She follows him as he moves down the hallway, but then he turns the corner and disappears, almost as if into thin air. Ash lefts out a frustrated huff of air and frowns. What about him had been so different? As she takes a step forward, it hits her. 

All of the other Sadeas men had been angry, or outraged, ready to pick a fight. This man, whoever he had been, was none of those things. He had been  _ curious _ . 

And curiosity was dangerous.

She spends the following week attempting to find out who this man is, in between training with her powers on Dalinar’s orders and fulfilling her normal duties as an officer in the Kholin army. Two days after Sadeas is killed, the Everstorm returns, and it only adds to Ash’s ever-growing list of worries. 

There is so much for her to be worried about: Kaladin has been gone for over a week now, having returned to his hometown of Hearthstone to check on his parents. The Everstorm comes more frequently than a normal highstorm. She suddenly has found herself the head of an order of Radiants while barely knowing anything about said order herself. Ivi has been distant ever since the Assassin in White had attacked, and Ash herself has been feeling a deep, unsettling feeling in her bones, like this is only the calm before the storm.

Her worries are alleviated for only a little while when Dalinar tells her that he is marrying Navani. The ceremony is lovely, albeit short. When the Stormfather binds them, gloryspren erupt around Navani, and Adolin whoops in Ash’s ear loud enough to make it ring and rushes to his father’s side to congratulate him. Ash hangs back for a moment until Adolin and Renarin have made their happiness known, and when Dalinar looks up and locks eyes with her, she knows she can step forward.

_ I know I have no right to say this, _ she begins,  _ But you have been like a father to me these past years, and I couldn’t ask for a better one than you. Thank you for everything, and I am happy for you. _ Dalinar’s eyes glisten for a moment, and then he pulls her into his side.  _ And you have been like the daughter I never had, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.  _

Adolin and Renarin watch, Adolin with a huge grin, and Renarin with a familiar twitch of his lips. When Ash finally manages to tear herself away from Dalinar and leave, Adolin teases her.  _ Look at you, worming your way into the hearts of bridgemen and brightlords alike. _ She only grins and wraps her arm around his, dragging him away.  _ Just you wait, _ she says,  _ it will be you next, “little brother.” _ Adolin makes a noise of protests, but accepts it and lets her pull him away to find Shallan.

Kaladin finally checks in via spanreed, and Ash breathes a sigh of relief when she reads of his family’s safety, and she nearly weeps when he tells her of his new baby brother. She has never been happier for him. Unbidden, her thoughts turn to her own family. 

She thinks of her uncle Talik, a trader, who puts on an outward appearance of coldness while being one of the warmest people she knows. She thinks of her grandmother, the King of Relu-Na, who refuses to speak any other language than Reshi, who loved her, she knows, with all of her heart. Ash is sure that they think her dead. It is with this thought that she slips down to the Thaylen quarter and asks after a trader who would be willing to take a spanreed to Relu-Na. 

There won’t be one who can make the journey for another week, she is told, but if she comes back, they will be willing to help her. She thanks the men who helped her, and returns to her quarters. 

When the second murder happens, Ash comes to understand three things in rapid succession. The first: Dalinar Kholin can walk  _ extremely _ fast when he wants to. The second: although this murder seems to be an exact copy of the first, Ivi insists that it is not. And the third: Adolin Kholin knows something big about Sadeas’ murder, and he has not said anything. 


	7. Radiant of Birthplace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes found family becomes your real family
> 
> AKA #someonegiveAshahug2021

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for all your patience, and my apologies for taking so long to post again. I had some personal matters come up, and then I got Covid, and then I got promoted at work, so I've generally not had a lot of time. I should be able to update more frequently from now on! Thank you again!

Ash waits until Adolin’s guard is down, and then ambushes him.

She drags him into one of the side passages and pushes him up against the wall, demanding that he tell her what he knows of Sadeas’ death. He gapes at her for a moment, shocked to see this side of her, and the. The story spills out of him, how he had murdered the traitorous man.

Ash fights back a smile. It’s poetic, really, that the man would get what he deserves at the hands of his former friend’s son. This will complicate things, however. Ivi buzzes near her ear, reminding her of the problem at hand.

_ And this murder, _ she demands,  _ you had nothing to do with it?  _

When Adolin firmly denies his involvement, she frowns. This means there is a copycat on the loose, and her thoughts are immediately drawn to the young man she’d seen, the one who’d seemed so curious. Either he also knew something was amiss… or he was the perpetrator. And that wasn’t to mention his penchant for disappearing into thin air. 

She thinks about this for almost a week.

Dalinar keeps her busy, has her commanding the Kholin forces in the towers. She can’t turn him down, but she’d much rather be hunting down the mysterious figure, not pandering to merchants who don’t know where to put their wares and breaking up fights between her men and the men of Sadeas’ army. 

Adolin begins teaching Shallan how to use her Pattern-Blade, and Ash joins their training sessions, sometimes to watch, sometimes to teach, sometimes to participate. She notices the shift in Shallan even though Adolin does not, is concerned for her friend, but decides it is none of her business. Damnation knows she’d changed her personality enough while hiding away to not have any right to judge Shallan for doing the same. She finally receives a message via spanreed from her uncle, Talik. It is short, only says a few words about the Isles, and demands  _ come home at once _ . 

She ignores it.

It seems that is not the reaction Talik was hoping for, as he continues messaging her until finally, he tells her that they need her help. Even though she is filled with trepidation at the thought, she says she will return, though not for good. Talik does not seem happy, but he agrees.

It was Ash, daughter of Roshoa the ardent who had arrived at the Shattered Plains to fight for the army of Dalinar Kholin. It is Shavalash Vederel who approaches Dalinar to ask for his permission to leave and to tell him the truth of who she actually is. He isn’t pleased that she has kept the full truth from him for so long, but  _ really, Dalinar, you should have immediately known who I was when I gave you my real name, we are a royal household after all. _

She uses her surgebinding to take herself, two of Shallan’s men, Gaz and Vathah, and a contingent of Dalinar’s soldiers all the way to Relu-Na, the greatshell that had been her home for so long. Talik waits for her at the docks, and if he is surprised to see her and a group of men appear in a ring of Stormlight right in front of him, the only sign is the tightening in the corners of his eyes. 

He greets her, almost coldly, and for a moment Ash can’t help but long for the days when she was small enough for him to pick up and swing under his arm. 

Talik has always been handsome, and the twin braids he wears swing slightly as he turns and beckons for Ash to follow as he makes his way up the slope towards where she knows her grandmother will be waiting. She is painfully reminded of her father, who had looked so much like his brother until the day that he died. She realizes now that her parents’ faces have faded from her mind, and that she is all that is left of them. 

When Ash steps before her grandmother, she bows her head long enough for her grandmother to grumble something about posture before launching into a tirade. She can’t say she didn’t expect this; in fact, it is quite the opposite. But the moment that she hears the words  _ alliance _ , her head shoots up and she can feel her face harden.

_ Is that the only reason you wanted me back, _ she asks,  _ for a political alliance? I am not a bargaining chip for you. I have now lived away from home longer than I lived here, and I will not be sold off the moment I return. I will not be manipulated again. I am no longer that little girl who left home to see the world.  _ She turns away, only tossing a final comment back at them.  _ I am a Willshaper and the adopted daughter of Dalinar Kholin. I don’t need you. _

She is in the foulest of moods when she returns with the men to Urithiru, and when Shallan seeks her out hours later, she knows Gaz and Vathah have informed their mistress of what had transpired while they were gone. Shallan approaches her as she sits with her feet dangling over the edge, tossing small pieces of loose crem into the courtyard hundreds of feet below. Shallan doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and Ash is grateful for it. And then she speaks.

_ Sometimes it’s better that we are able to choose our family, isn’t it? _

And Ash is so overwhelmed by the fact that there is someone who  _ finally understands _ that she breaks down and weeps, letting Shallan pull her into her arms. It is there that Adolin finds them, an hour later, and it is there that he joins them and pulls both of them into his arms, giving what comfort he can. 

And it is there that Ash realizes who her family is.


End file.
